Significant Other Hiking Partner: Romance + Trail Time

What could be more romantic than a full moon shining into your tent and no one within miles?

Let's get real. Feminine hygiene begins to suffer after only a few hours of tough trail work. Your hair gets sweaty and scrunched up under your hat. Sweat runs down into a puddle between your breasts. Your feet swell up and begin to give off "essence of boot". Bug bites blossom on each arm, tattooed with scratch marks. And your arm pits? Don't wanna go there! So why would your significant other hiking partner find you attractive?

But wait, there's more... If you're out on a multiple day trip, and you're not a bathing fanatic or there's no water to be had, you can add in the aroma of insect repellent, the gentle yet distinct scent of tent mildew in your clothing, and trail dust layered under your fingernails.

How romantic!

Hey, I'm not being a smart Alec. Human sweat contains pheromones. Pheromones attract the opposite gender, and signal your availability. Do I really have to spell it out for you? Going without the fruity shampoo, the gently scented deodorant, the feminine hygiene products, the cologne or perfume for a few days may actually enhance your love life in the back country. Try it sometime!

There are a few issues pertaining to romance which you might want to consider, aside from not bathing:

1. Sex in a sleeping bag gets messy. Use a sleeping bag liner, and launder it when you get home.

2. You forgot your birth control pills? Unless you're a biology major or can intuit the exact day of ovulation, don't take a chance. Just re-define "sex" and leave the sperm out of the equation. It's amazing how creative you might become.

3. You are too tired/sore/itchy to make use of the moonlight. Maybe you'll feel better after a long night's rest. Share that possibility with your partner. Unless he's already snoring (see #6 below).

4. Surprise your partner with the vacuum-packed half liter of wine-in-a-box that you tucked into your backpack. A brand I really like is Bandit.

5. Give your significant other hiking partner a foot massage. My favorite lotion for this is Aveda's Foot Relief. One note of caution: it has a strong herbal odor, and should not be used in bear country.

6. A real romance killer is a snoring partner. No use trying to fight it. Just use ear plugs. They're cheap, light weight, and you'll sleep right through the bear chewing on your boot laces. (Kidding!!).

7. Here's another resource for ideas, from Backpacker Magazine.

That's all for significant other hiking partner tips. Return to the Social Hiking page here.